As one of the largest – and most diverse – constituencies in recent existence, Millennials have increasingly turned to pundits and politicians who can best represent their varying ideals under a common platform. But what about those at the fringes of our political spectrum? In the face of both moderation and modernization, here’s a list of 5 Washingtonians who are getting it all wrong.

1. Michael Moore (”Filmmaker”)

Crowned by Millennials as the new “King of Petty”, this liberal ideologue subjected himself to widespread mockery after declaring himself  ”the most feared filmmaker in America.” Through shrewd opportunism and shameless griefmongering, Moore has made a fortune churning out liberal, “bleeding heart” manifestos that, amidst an economic crisis, evoke the worst of American emotions.  His muckraking strategy? Stalking and screaming at CEO’s with more helplessness than political finesse.

But it is Moore’s style that Millennials find most unpalatable. In his unrestrained criticisms of American life and government, the documentarian not only imposes his divisive worldview upon others but creates a cause for disunity without a corresponding a call to action. When push comes to shove, films like Bowling for Columbine, Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko, and Capitalism: A Love Story are ultimately noise with no higher purpose.

2. Bill Kristol (Founder & Editor of The Weekly Standard)
Son of the infamous “Godfather of Neoconservatism”, this smarmy Fox commentator and founder of The Weekly Standard is more political chameleon than commentator. Beneath his baby-faced charisma and schmaltzy theatrics, young Americans spy an ordinary rabble-rouser determined to raise hell in the earliest phases of a youth-backed Democratic Presidency. Worst of all?  As Howard Kurtz of the Washington Post puts it, Kristol is virtually “part of Washington’s circulatory system”, and his place in the media ensures his participation in modern political discourse.

Once a Civil Rights Activist and two-time Presidential hopeful, this loudmouthed polemic represents one of the biggest threats to a post-racial American society. After decades of exaggerated rhetoric, Jackson drew Millennial fire in 2008 when he expressed a desire to “cut [Barack Obama’s] nuts off” for “talking down to black people.” The remark – intended to deepen the divide between “black” and “white” realities – was denounced by young Americans nationwide as instigative and self-defeating. While the Minister’s experiences make his wariness towards any form of racial outreach and cooperation understandable,   his voice and vision no longer correspond to Millennial thought.

4. MoveOn.org
A non-profit liberal advocacy group, MoveOn.org was founded by married couple Joan Blades and Wes Boyd to discourage the impeachment of President Bill Clinton. Eleven years later, the decidedly Democratic organization has claimed responsibility for some of the crudest and hyper-partisan forms of dissent in modern political history. In 2007, MoveOn.org hit – and embraced – their nadir after running an ad entitled “General Petraeus or General Betray Us?” as a counter-punch to the General’s Iraq-related Congressional testimony. Misinterpreting the nature of the Millennial cause, the organization assumed such tactlessness would justify itself under the guise of “true patriotism.” However, along with their Congressional representatives, young Americans of all stripes came together to strongly condemn MoveOn.org’s personal attacks on the honor and integrity of General Petraeus.

5. Michelle Malkin (Blogger, Author)
Author of books like “Culture of Corruption” and “Unhinged: Liberals gone wild”, this smug, hyper-conservative commentator represents a branch of right-wingers uninterested in accommodating a growing number of moderate Millenials. In her all-consuming zeal, Malkin resembles the liberal “thugs” she has made a fortune criticizing, and her ideological constraints make it impossible for her to tread or represent a “middle-ground.” While Republican pundits have praised her contributions to “modern conservative thought”, Malkin is flouted by young Americans with more diverse political beliefs who resent her polarizing influence.

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