Two days ago, I glanced at Fox News, saw that they were discussing Sarah Palin, and changed the channel. “I don’t get why they’re talking about her,” I told the friend next to me. “Last I checked, Sarah Palin is no longer relevant to national politics.”

Two days later, she proved me wrong. As you’ve probably heard, the moose-hunting Wasilla resident will – as of the end of July – no longer be the governor of the state of Alaska. But in typical summer blockbuster fashion, she left the ending open for a sequel.

Sarah Palin at the 2008 Republican National Convention

There is much speculation behind the meaning of her vague proclamation that she will “fight for all our children’s future from outside the governor’s office,” including the idea that she may be gearing up to fight for all our children’s future from inside the Oval Office.

Let the 2012 United States presidential election campaign begin!

Here are the basics: Sarah Palin doesn’t have a chance at victory in 2012.

Us media types love to boast about grassroots movements these days (and the Internet’s role in them), but as effective as Ron Paul’s push was last year in expanding libertarian ideals, it did only that. The Texas obstetrician received – despite perhaps the most avid fanbase among all candidates – a very small portion of primary votes, and sites like palin4pres2012.com can’t garner enough support for an election, no matter how often they compare her to Ronald Reagan.

The nearly fanatic conservatism of Sarah Palin and her followers is no match for the more moderate types whose names have already been mentioned, like Mitt Romney.

Wait … I got overexcited there for a second. The 2012 presidential race is a bit irrelevant in the summer of 2009. Our incumbent president has been in office less than six months of his four-year term – barely enough to invoke any change that we may have elected him to do. Oh, and we have congressional elections in November 2010, two years before we again vote for head of state. It may seem obvious, but we have more immediate needs, like – ya know – the economy and such.

Believe me, as much as I enjoy the amazing satire that Sarah Palin’s time in the national spotlight provides – see this video arguing that Monty Python’s Michael Palin is the most qualified person with that surname to be president – I can wait another year or two before beginning that exhaustive discussion that presidential campaigns bring.

I’m still enduring the hangover provided by last year’s election drama, and Sarah Palin’s effort to become Alaska’s state flower is like a bright light shone in my eyes, exacerbating the headache. Al Franken’s official victory finally brought the end of ballot bickering, a sport to which America is most likely not yet ready to return.

So this Independence Day, let’s hope – for the good of the nation – that Palinmania subsides a bit, and we can wait in peace for another year or two before we have a reason to see another Tina Fey impersonation.

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