The world’s greatest fears have officially been confirmed. Former Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has announced she will resign from her post as Alaska’s governor to “[take] my fight for what’s right in a new direction.”

Yes, that’s right folks. The self-proclaimed Alaskan pitbull will likely bring her hockey mom politics and foreign policy smarts straight to Washington, poised to condemn anyone who stands in the way of her Presidency or uses her daughters’ name in a comedy sketch on a late-night talk show.

I have to say I’m impressed. I never thought the day would come that I would actually prefer fake-tan Mitt Romney to someone who is basically a pair of talking stillettos. Then again, never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that the Republican party would devolve into a semi-McCarthyist machine bent on derailing every Democratic measure put forth in an economic crisis.

Yes… these are strange times indeed.

Here are 10 reasons all of us should run for the hills, screaming, if Sarah Palin runs/wins in 2012.

1) Folksiness can’t replace real foreign policy credentials. I wonder if she even knows the Soviet Union was dismantled.

2) Rumored abuse of executive power regarding her attempts to get her ex-brother-in-law fired from his job as state trooper. Can we really trust her not to pursue personal agendas or vendettas in an office as important as the Presidency? Isn’t that a little too Nixon?

3) From 1996 to 2002, Mayor Palin (of Wasilla) raised sales taxes to pay for the construction of a sports complex built on someone else’s land. She then invoked “Eminent domain” to sue Gary Lundgren, a developer who held title to the land. Lundgren eventually won in court and received a $1.7 million settlement from the city. Quite a price for such an amateur mistake!

4) Time Magazine reported that Sarah Palin “asked the library how she could go about banning books” like Harry Potter because of “inappropriate” language. When the librarian, Mary Ellen Baker, did not give her “full support”, Palin threatened to fire her. What is this, 1984? We are practically inviting moonbat accusations of a “fascist America” and falsely vindicating their belief that the Republican party is made up of censor-happy tyrants.

5) She still holds the misinformed view that creationism qualifies as a scientific theory. This is incorrect. While it is a perfectly acceptable view for the religious, and should be respected even by those who do not believe in it, “creationism” doesn’t fill the criteria to be a “scientific theory.” Scientific theories like evolution have been tested by experimental means over a long period of time and are able to consistently explain many sets of scientific phenomena. But because creationism cannot be verified by any sort of scientific experimentation, it fulfills none of the criteria to qualify as a scientific theory. Beliefs that don’t qualify as scientific theories have no place in science classrooms.

6) She is an unbelievably polarizing figure and a terrible example of Republicanism. Do we really need to add to our bad rap?

7) The Katie Couric interview isn’t an anomaly. Her answers weren’t off, they were just WRONG. In an economic crisis that likely won’t pass within the next three years, we cannot possibly elect a politician that thinks a bailout will “help those who are concerned about health care reform.”

8 ) She’s an international punch line. We would effectively destroy all progress POTUS 44 has made abroad by expanding American rhetoric, extending a hand to the Muslim world and repairing relations with wary Europeans still haunted by memories of George Bush Jr. We don’t need yet another reason for Europeans to turn up their noses at the mere mention of the American people — God knows we’ve been through enough of that nonsense already.

9) Sen. John McCain can’t even “politely lie” about supporting his former Vice Presidential candidate. When asked whether he would support a Palin-Anyone ticket on Meet the Press, McCain mumbled something about “a lot” of other good candidates planning to run in 2012 and basically just blabbered his way out of an official answer.

10) She’d probably choose Joe the Plumber to be VP. Yeah, THE Joe Plumber. They’d probably crack open a six-pack in the Oval Office and drunk-text Putin or something. This world has gone to the dogs.

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