Bill Richardson. Tom Daschle. Nancy Killefer. Judd Gregg.

President Barack Obama’s list of withdrawn nominees has grown significantly since his inauguration on January 20, raising the question of whether he would have been better off selecting cabinet members from the all-star lineup at the “We Are One” concert at the Lincoln Memorial on January 18. I would go out on a limb and bet that Samuel L. Jackson pays his taxes and that Ashley Judd—unlike another Judd—would not have taken much convincing to serve as Secretary of Commerce.

With over fifty well-known performers and readers, including Martin Luther King III, Queen Latifah, Garth Brooks, and Beyonce, the concert brought together one of the most diverse groups of celebrities ever assembled by a president-elect. Packed shoulder to shoulder from the Lincoln Memorial to the Washington Monument, nearly half a million people turned out to watch a video essay about President Abraham Lincoln narrated by Tom Hanks and to hear Pete Seeger and Bruce Springsteen sing “This Land Is Your Land.”

Imagine if Obama had turned the concert—which featured military jets passing overhead in 90-second intervals, a dozen jumbotrons flashing images of the performers to those who forgot to bring their binoculars, and journalists craning their necks to catch a glimpse of Shakira’s hips—into a mass nominating ceremony for cabinet members. Which ones would have been investigated by federal prosecutors? Which ones would have been exposed for not reporting company-provided haircuts to the IRS?

Bundled tightly in Obama scarves, Obama hats, and Obama mittens, Americans of all ages would have applauded will.i.am not just for his rendition of “One Love” by Bob Marley but also for his appointment as Secretary of Education. Having done an extraordinary job of educating Americans through his music videos during the campaign about both Barack Obama and John McCain, will.i.am would have been well positioned to act as a public advocate for our nation’s youth. Digging that rhythm and blues, the cheering spectators would have applauded Obama for appointing Garth Brooks Secretary of Agriculture.

Republicans and Democrats alike could have appreciated the gravitas with which Denzel Washington would have approached the job of Attorney General, just as politically apathetic, sports loving Independents would have appreciated Obama choosing Tiger Woods as Secretary of Transportation. And there certainly would have been no objections to the nomination of Shakira as Secretary of State, considering her renowned international outreach at the Olympics. Trip for trip, Shakira has probably spent more time overseas than Hillary Clinton.

Blinded by the light, U2 might have been willing to spare Bono for the position of Secretary of Health and Human Services. Just think about the resonance of Bono’s press conferences on AIDS and universal health insurance—they would have drawn more positive media attention than the speculation about the First Canine. Meanwhile, over at the Department of Defense, Jack Black would have started a band, the first step toward achieving world peace.

C’mon, c’mon, wouldn’t it have been great if Obama had interrupted “One Love” to announce that Sheryl Crow would be the next Secretary of Energy? And that the president-elect wanted John Mellencamp to serve as Secretary of the Interior? All I wanna do is watch Samuel L. Jackson issue self-glorifying alerts down at the Department of Homeland Security. Imagine watching CNN and seeing the ticker announce that the alert level had been raised to “Samuel L. Jackson.”

Finally, I couldn’t imagine a concert cabinet without Treasury Secretary Queen Latifah announcing her plans to save homeowners from foreclosure, Pete Seeger naturally assuming the position of Secretary of Labor, and Tom Hanks stepping up to lead the Department of Veterans Affairs. Flanked by the Boss, whose mind-altering performance at the Super Bowl included more fireworks than a Fourth of July celebration, Obama’s rocking nominations would have been instantly ratified by Springsteen’s Senate fans. No questions asked.

And now for the CliffsNotes version of the concert cabinet . . .

Secretary of Agriculture: Garth Brooks

Secretary of Commerce: Ashley Judd

Secretary of Defense: Jack Black

Secretary of Education: will.i.am

Secretary of Energy: Sheryl Crow

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Bono

Secretary of Homeland Security: Samuel L. Jackson

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Bruce Springsteen

Secretary of the Interior: John Mellencamp

Attorney General: Denzel Washington

Secretary of Labor: Pete Seeger

Secretary of State: Shakira

Secretary of Transportation: Tiger Woods

Secretary of the Treasury: Queen Latifah

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Tom Hanks

Alan Kennedy-Shaffer is the author, most recently, of “The Obama Revolution.”

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